


Dancing Shoes

by JustCallMeGirlFriday



Series: Getting into the complications of feelings [8]
Category: Center Stage (2000)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 10:44:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/673513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustCallMeGirlFriday/pseuds/JustCallMeGirlFriday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maureen is ready to throw her dancing shoes away for good. She's ready to tell her mother that she wasn't going to allow her mother's dream to rule her life any longer. Not only was she allowing herself to get into a life and death sickness to live her mother's dream; but she was rapidly falling into depression. She just can't live the lie any longer.</p><p>Jody on the other hands knows the full truth of Maureen's fears. Can she be the one to help Maureen find her truest desire – and help her through her multitude issues? Can the beaten down, and truly mistrusting Maureen allow her too?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> Song Title: Dancing Shoes
> 
> Song Artist: Gavin DeGraw

I quite! Maureen screamed in her head as she stared at where her mother sat. Do you hear me mother? I said I quite! Her mother just kept her eyes glued too the center of the stage where in mere moments she was opposed to dance out on. Well Maureen had decided right there, and then that she wasn't going to go out on that damn stage.

She turned around quickly, and scanned the back stage for Eva. She was going to tell Eva to go out on that stage for her. To wow everyone – to claim her rightful spot at ABA. Her eyes lit up at the sight of her roommate talking with her other roommate. She waved for Eva to come too her. She was slightly uncomfortable that Jody had tagged along. She shook off the unease as she smiled at Eva. "Eva this is your moment. I want you to dance for me."

"W-what?" Eva hissed in shocked.

"I'm giving up my solo, and giving it too you. I want you to dance for me." Maureen said with a wide smile. The music on stage was almost to the end, and then her solo was coming up. "You know the solo just as well – hell better than I do. You are ready." She tried to keep the tightness from her voice.

"No." It was Jody whom spoke up.

"I'm not going on." Maureen sighed. "Eva is going to take my place."

"No." Jody repeated more firmly this time.

"I'm not feeling well. I don't want to have to haul right on stage. Oh God forbid on the audience." Maureen said in a slightly pleading voice. She couldn't believe she was pleading. She never pleaded. She was taught better than that. But she couldn't keep the plea from her voice.

"No." Jody stated.

"You want this solo, Eva." Maureen said with a slight plea.

Eva could only nod.

"It's yours." Maureen waved her right hand to the stage. The music just started for the solo.

"Eva isn't going on that stage. You are." Jody said in a soft but firm voice. She pushed Eva gently to the side and placed her hand on Maureen's back. "Get out there and don't fail on purpose."

Maureen couldn't stop her feet from moving forward. She looked over her right shoulder and glared at Jody before she twisted her head back to the hated stage. She moved passed the curtain that separated the stage from the backstage. She glided towards the center of the stage and stood with her head bowed. Her eyes closed as she waited for the right moment to began her dance.

Don't fail on purpose. Jody's words kept repeating themselves on a timeless loop in her head as she breathed in deeply. Maureen felt her body tighten as she realized that she had to actually dance her best here. Not for her mother – not by a long shot. Not for herself. Hell; she didn't even want to be dancing at all. But for Jody. Her eyes opened wide as she stared at the small lighted circle around her feet. Where the hell did that come from?

The music began to pick up in the tempo. Maureen felt her body move on it's own accord. Her mind had shut down. She felt a light tingle in her soul as she spun on one foot and turned her head to the right. Just as she had practiced it for weeks on end. She felt her mouth draw up onto a smile. A smile that she knows doesn't meet her eyes. How could it? When her soul wasn't in the dance. All she wanted was the dance to be over – so she could finally throw her dancing shoes away for all time.

Her head twirled to the left and she locked eyes with Jody's. She flashed back to the first moment she set eyes on Jody. It was as they were all waiting to enter the girls studio on their first day. Maureen had been leaning against the wall nearest to the door. After all she was opposed to be the first one in the studio – she was opposed to be setting the sample on the rest of the ten hopefuls. She was opposed to show that she was going to be one of the chosen three girls. It was her role in her life. It was the role that her mother had hammered in her head since she was an infant.

She was all set to enter that room first – when suddenly her eyes met the smiling blue eyes of the blond girl across the hall. Just briefly – but enough time for Maureen to miss the fact that the door had opened, and the girls started walking into the studio. The blue eyes turned from her as she shrugged her right shoulder to push the strap of her black bag higher on it. Maureen silently watched as she the blond whom was a few inches shorter than her walked passed her through the door. She blinked as she realized where she remained. She pushed off the wall and managed to get into the studio before the last four girls came in.

Maureen walked over to the corner and dropped her bag next to the other bags. Turning she went to the beam, and started her warm up strengths. She lost herself in the hum dum of her normal routine. She heard her mother's voice in her head as a manta as she warmed her body up for the workout that her body was going to be put through. She twisted her right to the right and laid it on her raised leg. Opening her eyes as she sighed out as the muscles loosened up – only to be met with the blue eyes of the blond from the hall way.

"My name is Jody by the way." The blond said with a smile. She was having a little trouble keeping her balance as she stretched her leg.

Maureen kept silent. She straightened, and pulled her leg gracefully from the beam. She closed her eyes as she began her head rolls. She felt her neck crack as she leaned to the left. She sighed softly as she rolled her head to the back. Hissing slightly as her head rolled to the right. Her eyes opened after she rolled it back to her front. Her eyes met the unreadable blue eyes of Jody. She narrowed her eyes slightly. "My name is Maureen. I am going to be one of the three females to be chosen for ABA." She hissed.

Jody blinked.

Maureen felt a warm blush light up her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She said humbly. "I didn't mean to sound so well to put it plainly like such a bitch. I'm just dedicated to ballet and I want to be the best that I can be. ABA is the place for me. I have been a student here since I was nine after all." She couldn't stop her babbling to save her life. Shut up Maureen! Why are you telling her all this. She's your competitor. She's going to use this as a way to destroy you. Her mother's voice was screaming inside her head. She closed her eyes as she tried to shut that part of her brain off.

Maureen felt a hand on her arm. She blinked her eyes open. "I blabber when I get nervous too, Maureen. I think most humans do. You aren't alone in this." Jody softly said with a kind smile. "So I take it you have lived in New York for a long time?"

"I was born here." Maureen nodded her head. "I haven't ever been anywhere else. My mother wants me to concentrate on my dancing. She feels the best place for has always been at ABA. ABA doesn't accept any dancer under the age of nine. So for the first eight years I had private teachers." She shrugged her shoulders, "After I graduate from ABA as the top Prime Donna – and accepted by the best of the world renowned companies – then I get to travel the world."

Jody blinked. "I'm from Chicago."

"Go Cubs." Maureen quipped.

"You like baseball?" Excitement lit up Jody's blue eyes.

Maureen shook her head. "I don't have time. I dance twenty four seven. All my mother wanted me to have time for besides my education is too dance." She shrugged her shoulders. "I just know some of the teams names and what cities they are from."

Something was happening at the door way – but the two girls didn't pay any attention to the drama. They were so wrapped up in their conversation.

"I'll teach you about baseball. I'm a avid fan." Jody said with a smile. "So what schools have you attended?" She wanted to hear about the New York schools that always held interest with her.

"I never attended school. I was privately tutored." Maureen shrugged her shoulders. Pushing them backwards to get a proper stretch in.

Before Jody could say anything the teacher clapped her hands. Maureen placed her hand delicately on the beam. Jody moved in front of her and did the same. She kept her head firmly in front of her waiting for the rest of the ten girls to get into their places.

Maureen turned her head to the mirror to meet the piercing blue eyes of Jody.

The music changed tempo, and Maureen moved her waist, so she could complete the turn that the dance called for. Her eyes leaving Jody's piercing blue eyes. She forced herself to get herself back to the present – so she wouldn't have a mis step from the perfection that the dance required from her. I'll teach you about baseball. She smiled wide at this thought as she spun around, and around. She leapt high in the air with her arms stretched out wide in front of her – to pure emptiness that was the stage.

Bowing her head as she twisted her arms into her chest she closed her eyes. She allowed the music to sooth her soul from not seeing the wisp of the ghost that was opposed to be in front of her. She locked that deep within herself as she scolded herself that of course she didn't see the ghost – why the hell should she. She was on an the empty of the hateful stage. Empty expect for her lone self. She hitched her breath as she forced the lone tear from falling.

It wouldn't due to ruin the dance with her emotions. Her mother would kill her. She harden herself as she realized that after the dance was over – she would finally tell her mother that she was going to quite. Quite dancing and – and what? What did she want out of life?

Her hands flew from her too twist into a wide arch. Lifting her head as her eyes flew open she twirled around, and around. All she knew was the ballet. Her mother made sure that was the case. She knew how to bend her knees even before she learned how to walk. She breathed ballet – and dream t ballet. But she didn't want to dance ballet her entire life. But she was too afraid to admit this to her mother. Her mother whom loved the ballet. Whom wanted to be a ballerina herself – but was told she could never be one. Her mother whom lived the ballerina dream through Maureen.

What did she want out of her own life? Her head arched up into a swan like neck movement as she twirled around the stage. How could she go to her mother and state that she was quitting the ballerina dream without a inkling of a plan for her life? Her mother would just laugh it off, and force her back into the studio to do the knee strengths to prepare her for the next dance.

I hate THIS! I hate this mother! Do you hear me? Do you hear your little girl crying out in deep pain? Do you care? Have you ever cared about me? Not the ballerina but just …. Maureen? Do love me for whom I am – not because I've obeyed you since even before I can remember even wondering anything on my own? Maureen's eyes caught her mother's as she twirled her body around. Her mother's eyes were aglow as she watched in rapport. Whom do you see mother? Yourself or me? Do you ever see me …. just Maureen?

Maureen bowed her head as the music ended. No mother you don't see Maureen? You have never seen me. Never will. Well mother – I'm done. I'm done living YOUR dream; YOUR life. I'm going to live MY life from now on. Lifting her head up and meeting her mother's eyes dead on. I quite mother.

The curtain closed in front of her. Breathing harshly as she gathered her ragged breath. She didn't realize the arms that were clasping on her back, arms, shoulders and head. All she saw was her mother's eyes as they gazed on her. Not once did they shown any reorganization on whom she was. The eyes never had.

She felt a cool hand against her neck, and she twisted her head to the right, to meet the calming blue eyes of Jody.

"You are in the ABA program." Jonathan said with a wide smile.

Maureen couldn't tear her eyes off of Jody's. Jonathan's words were spinning around her head. She couldn't breathe. She forced herself to leave Jody's eyes to stare wide eyed into Jonathan's joyful voice. "No." She breathed out. Her breath hitched in her throat.

Jonathan just laughed it off. "Yes."

Shaking her head and shaking off the hands on her body. "No. I said no." She turned and fled from the stage.

Jonathan stared wide eyed after the fleeing newest star of his Academy. "Okay," He breathed. "I have had many shocked people when told that they are in ABA. But; I have had no one look like a scared deer in a hunters line of site before." He frowned. "It's like Maureen isn't happy to achieve what she has been striving for her entire life."

"She's scared." Jonathan blinked as he took in the young blond in front of him. He had quite forgotten that Jody had also been standing at Maureen's side during his happy news. "Maureen doesn't get scared." He said in a firm voice. "Maureen has been dedicated to the art of dance since I first met her when she was six years old. I wanted to take her in the youth program at ABA then – but I had to wait till she turned nine. She was my student on her ninth birthday."

"Maureen Cummings doesn't get scared." Jonathan said in a sure voice. "She just needs time to adjust to having her dreams realized."

"You don't know her do you?" Jody said in a knowing voice.

Jonathan looked into Jody's eyes. "I know her better than you do. I have known her longer than you. You have only known her for less than a year. You have only been rooming with her for said time. I hear you have joined Cooper's company. Once you leave ABA you will never even look back." He felt hardness in his throat.

"I'll look back." Jody said. "I will always look back." Lifting her head. "You are right I have only known Maureen for the past few months. But in that time I got to know her. Twelve years and you still have no basic idea on whom she is, Jonathan." Shaking her head. "Perhaps I have made a mistake?" She murmured as she turned around.

Jonathan looked belligerent as she walked threw the crowd of people towards the stage door. Seriously what the hell is going on here? Maureen isn't happy to be officially at ABA? Jody is acting all confrontation all of a sudden? What time loop have I entered? He turned around seeking his wife. Perhaps Kathleen will have some insight of Maureen's emotions. After all Kathleen had been in Maureen's position when she herself had gotten into the adult ABA program.

Jody turned the corner from the hallway that led to the theater. Leaning her back against the wall she frowned. I was wrong. I was ever so wrong. Her hands crisscrossed before she brought them up to rest underneath her chin. I'm going to fix this. I have too. Her blue eyes glistened with tears as she gazed at the wall in front of her.

END OF PRELUDE


	2. The Decision Is Made

JONAHTAN'S OFFICE

Jody held her hand on the door knob as she pushed the door opened as she knocked. "I'm sorry to come right in before you invite me in, Jonathan. But, I can't wait for the proper formalities." She looked around his office to make sure that no one else was there. She sighed in relief.

Jonathan had about to say 'Come in' when he heard the first knock. But the door had been opening even before the first knock was done. He frowned darkly as two more knocks sounded, and the door revealed the blond nineteen year old on the other side. Teenagers. They always assume that life is just about them. They don't care for other people or closed office doors. "Come in Jody. Seeing how you are all ready in." He waved to the chair opposite his desk. He waited for the girl to sit down. He had noticed that she made sure to close, and lock the door before sitting. He stood to his feet and walked from around his desk.

"Don't unlock the door." Jody said in a low and calm voice.

"It's not proper for us to being in a locked room together, Jody. For one, I'm a married man. Two, I'm your teacher." Jonathan said his hand on the knob. He was about to turn it when ….

"I don't want anyone to interrupt us, Jonathan." Jody sighed as she watched his hand leave the knob. Leaving the door locked. "I'm not here to seduce you."

"Kathleen would be up my ass." Jonathan said. "So would Juliette." He quipped as he walked back towards his seat. "You know that I'm not going to accept you in ABA." He eyed the young nineteen year old.

"If I hadn't agreed to being in Cooper's company -" Jody's brow furrowed. "How did you learn that any way?"

"From Cooper of course." Jonathan rolled his eyes. "He simply enjoyed rubbing my face in him claiming you – he said that I didn't know true talent if it bit me in the ass."

"I have to join ABA, Jonathan." Jody stated. "It's the only way that you'll get Maureen."

Jonathan couldn't keep the bark of laughter from leaving his lungs. "So damn sure of yourself hmm? Teenagers. I hated them when I was one; and I hate them even more now." He frowned. "Get out of my office Jody. Get out of my life. You are not welcome to dance at ABA ever again. Even when Cooper's company comes for shows here – you will not be welcome anywhere near ABA."

"I'm not joining Cooper's company. If I don't dance for ABA – than I don't dance." Jody swallowed the around the lump in her throat.

Jonathan's eye brows rose high on his forehead. "It's that serious then?"

Jody silently nodded.

Biting the inside of his cheek. "I hate that I'm forced to take on someone whom isn't right for ABA just kills me." Jonathan sighed deeply. "I all ready have my third girl picked out." He narrowed his eyes, "What if I just decided not take take Maureen. Than problem solved."

"Do you have another girl you want instead of Maureen?" Jody raised her right eyebrow.

"No." Jonathan grumbled. "Juliette is going to wonder why I'm choosing you."

"She'll understand. Matter of fact I'm sure that she had a very good idea from the very beginning." Jody sighed. "That's why she kept harping after me. Right from the start."

"Are you sure you are what Maureen needs?" Jonathan looked deeply into the nineteen year old blond's eyes. "I don't want to make a mistake."

"There is no mistake." Jody replied.

Jonathan sighed. "Okay. But if it doesn't play out the way you want it too play out – than you are gone." His voice grew hard. "If you do more damage than good, than Jody Sawyer, I'll personally see that you pay with your life." His balled up right fist came down onto his desk. "I'll make sure you would be locked up in the smallest cell known too man kind, with just a small window. The window will be high up – that even if you had a chair, you won't be able to look out of it. You won't get enough to eat – but you would manage to survive well into your nitrites."

"You love her." Jody simply said at the direct threat.

"As if she were my very own." Jonathan said with a tear in his right eye. "How could I have missed this?"

Jody didn't have an answer.

Jonathan had expected her to have one.

THE GIRLS DORM ROOM

"You should have danced the solo, Eva. I had willing given it too you." Maureen snarled as she twisted her head to the right. "Why didn't you just get out on that fucking stage."

Eva had done a lot of thinking the night before. She had all been ready to step out on that stage in Maureen's place – she knew that she would have won her rightful place in Jonathan's precious school – on her damn own. Even if she had danced Maureen's solo – it wasn't like she had stolen it – Maureen had pretty much ordered her to dance the fucking thing. But, while she had watched Maureen dancing – she truly, and for the very first time saw whom Maureen truly was.

"I wanted that solo. I deserved that solo! I would have stolen it from you." Eva couldn't keep the words from flying from her mouth. Granted she had learned the truth of whom Maureen Cummings truly was; and all. But, still her mouth still spun out of her control. Her brain just couldn't keep up with it sometimes. That's the main reason why she kept getting into trouble. "I would have danced that solo better than you, bitch Diva." Her hands were clenched at her sides on the bed. "I am better than you. Not only at ballet."

Maureen stared wide eyed shocked into the stormy eyes of the African American. She felt her blood boil even higher than when she started too spew her frustrations at the other girl.

"I'm so much better at life. I'm so much better in bed. I feel so sorry for Jim – he has too put up with your frigidness between the sheets." Eva jumped to her feet and stalked closer to Maureen. She slowly moved around the taller white girl, just barley touching her body with her own. "I'm going too take poor Jim, and treat him how a real woman should treat him. He'll know all the warmth that he had been missing with you." She stopped as her breath hit Maureen's left ear.

Maureen blinked as she felt the warmth of the other girl's breath on her skin. "I know that you are only saying these things too get a rise out of me. It won't work." Her eyes shifted so she could look straight into the haughty eyes of Eva. "I'm all ready fucking pissed off with you."

"You try fighting the surgery sweet Jody Sawyer. Especially when she's on one of her saving another human being from themselves trips. I'm her friend, and protector here at ABA; but even I can't overcome this personality trait of hers." Eva shrugged. "For some unknown reason too me," She waved her fingers against her chest. "Jody has decided that you deserve protection. That she was the one to be your sole protector." Her lips thinned out, "If you hurt her, Maureen," She leaned closer, "I will cut you to shreds; so you won't ever have another chance to dance."

Maureen turned and locked eyes with Eva. "So; all I have do is hurt Jody; then I won't dance ever again. I can do that."

"What are you so afraid of?" Eva whispered. Her right hand rose to stroke the right side of Maureen's face.

The door opened. Maureen jumped backwards quickly. Her eyes wide as she gazed first at Eva – than over at Jody's who's own blue eyes were widen in fear also.

"I gotta go." Maureen chocked out. She felt her feet move forward.

Jody held up her hands. "Don't go." She said in a soft voice. "You don't have too go. Stay. Please."

"I have to go." Maureen whispered. "Just allow me to go."

"You can't go. Not yet. Your home is here." Jody reached over, and gently stroked Maureen's right cheek bone. "You are safe here."

Maureen lifted her hand and brushed the smaller girls hand off. "G-get y-y-your han-n-n-ds off m-m-m-me." She gasped out.

Eva moved forward quickly, she jerked Maureen backwards into her. Wrapping her arms tightly around the slim girl's stomach – she pushed the taller white girl tightly into her chest. "Look here bitch, don't you dare treat Jody like this." She hissed in Maureen's right ear.

"Eva let her go." Jody said with her eyes wide.

Eva just held tighter. "Not this time." She looked over Maureen's shoulder at Jody. "Not this time." She rested her head on Maureen's tight shoulder blade. "I'm not going to allow her to run away from this."

Jody sighed in defeat as she realized that Eva wouldn't let Maureen go. But, she knew that Eva wouldn't physical harm Maureen. Emotionally she was still unsure of. But, if she tired to remove Eva from Maureen – than Maureen would be physical harmed. Jody hummed softly under her breath.

Maureen's eyes widen in fear, "Why can't you two just allow me to go. Why are you to set on destroying my life?" She struggled to try to get out of Eva's grasp. But, every twist and turn; just made Eva's arms tighten.

"We don't want to destroy your life." Eva rubbed her right hand along Maureen's tight stomach. "We want to help you." She breathed on Maureen's neck. "Let us help you. Let us be your family."

"I all ready have a family." Maureen stiffly said.

"Your over bearing mother isn't your family. Hell, even your father allows her to over shadow him all the time. You never had any love from your parents. Your mother would never allow it." Eva calmly said. "How can you say you have family – when your family is too afraid to show their soft side with one another."

"Says the girl whom is hard on everyone." Maureen barked.

"Let us be your family." Eva repeated.

"Let me go." Maureen begged.

"No." Eva said.

"Let me go." Maureen broke.

"Let her go." Jody looked into Eva's eyes. "Let her go."

Eva slowly backed away from the taller white girl – leaving her hands on her in case Maureen crumbled.

Maureen walked up to Jody, and stared silently into her eyes. "Why are you doing this too me?" She whispered through her tears.

"I want to help you find yourself." Jody gently replied; raising her hand to catch some of the falling tears. She lowered the hand, and rested it against her heart. "I'm going to hold these close too me. Every single one of them. I'm not going to fail you."

"Everyone fails me." Maureen mournfully stated, she turned and left the room.

"We can't fail her." Jody looked at Eva.

"I won't." Eva promised.

END CHAPTER ONE


End file.
